Hello World.

by shelbyisrad

“Well hello world

How you been

Good to see you, my old friend

Sometimes I feel as cold as steel

And broken like I’m never gonna heal

And I see a light, a little grace, a little faith unfurls

Well hello world”

-Lady Antebellum “Hello World”

I feel like my world has just fallen into my lap and broken in half right along with my heart.

My grandmother is the most beautiful, kind, amazing, strong, funniest, encouraging, sweet woman I have ever known. She raised six children, had a home cooked meal on the table every night, kept the house clean, and always took care of her family.She always has put others before herself; her children, her husband, her family, her friends.

At the time when she should have retired and spent the rest of her years on the porch with my grandpa watching the sunset, she again put her life on hold, and without a second thought took  two lost teenagers in, (My brother and I) She has raised us for the past 9 years when the rest of our world fell apart, and our parents left us hanging my grandmother provided for us, she taught us to be good people and gave us the opportunity to go somewhere in this world.

I cannot count the times of sweet words and ecouragment she gave, the hours she spent waiting on us in parking lots at school, or outside of karate class, I cannot count the miles she drove taking us wherever we needed or wanted to be. She lifted us up, pushed us to be our best, and is the strongest and most amazing, fearless person I have ever been blessed to know.

And now, the woman who I love and adore and treasure with all my heart may have cancer, and I’m scared, terrified, I cannot imagine my life without my Grandma in it. Her and my grandfather are the ones who took care of us when no one else would, not even our own mom and dad and I cannot imagine a world without her in it. I also cannot stand to think of the pain she is in or will have to endure if it is cancer.

The other part of my world that has crashed is the family, I call them my second family, they’re my home away from home but they’re moving back to South Carolina. The Campbells, who I haven’t even known a year, have carved out a place in my heart and I hold them there so dearly

My sweet Reagan, who is strong willed and incredible, she is the funniest, sweetest child I have ever known, at four years old she is so smart and can always see when I am hurting, she is beautiful and has the biggest personality for such a little thing. She makes me laugh better than anyone else can her smile instantly lifts my mood and her hugs just make me feel okay again when nothing seems like it will be.Avery, my little dancer, she is talented, she is passionate, she is smart, and determined, she is going to go so far in her life I cannot even imagine the things this beautiful girl will do. Her will and passion for life and dance are such an encouragement, she is a strong fierce girl at nearly 9 years old you can tell she is a star. Even when she steals all the covers and freezes me with her cold feet i love it when she just climbs practically in my lap all elbows and knees wanting to cuddle and be close with me.

Paula has been my escape from the real world since she came into my life. She has always gone out of her way to pick me up, take me to lunch or back to school. I’ve been able to share everything I wanted to with her, and she has always known when I’m hurting, and knew the words to say to make it hurt less, she has mentored me and cared for me. Rob, has caused me to have side splitting laughter countless times, he always has words of wisdom and encouragement, he has shown me what a true father is, protected me and stood up for me. The love he has for God, his wife and daughters have shown me what to look for in a husband. Rob and Paula took me in and welcomed me as a third daughter, they were the ones whose arms i fell into when I had my heart broken, they helped me pick up the pieces make sense of it all and allow God to heal me. They gave me a family when I needed it, and their love has helped shape and mold me.

I cannot imagine them being so far away, 2 hours in my mind seems a lot farther than it is and I know the distance won’t change a thing, they will always be there when I need arms to fall into and I thank God every day for the times we’ve had.

I am praying and trusting God with all I am, and I know thats the only thing I can do to survive. Cancer can be cured and my grandma can be healed, God could erase any trace of the possible cancer before they even determine if it really is. He can make the distance of two hours seem as if its not even there and I know that most of all God will be the arms of love, the family, the encouragement, and most of all the strength I need, as it feels like my world is changing so quickly. I am doing my best to trust him, his plans are for good and I know only good will come of this.

Advertisements