by shelbyisrad

I wrote on facebook earlier today about how amazed i am at how different my life is from just a year ago.

The people who a year ago i was practically attached at the hip to,

who i shaped my days around

who i texted constantly

who i spent my time thinking about, talking about, praying for/with

are all pretty much non exsistant in my life now.

That 30-45 mins i used to travel every single weekend because i wanted to spend those weekends with them feels like a million miles now.

I think the distance is more than just a few miles, they feel distant in my heart

When my grandmother was in the hospital, not a single one of them reached out to me and asked how she was.

A few i texted to tell them almost out of habit, they used to be the people i texted about everything, big things, small things like how many packs of fruit snacks i’d consumed in class things that no one else probably would’ve cared about.

I am thankful for the friends who i now shape my days around, who come to me every weekend, who gave up their time to drive me to the hospital and were in Grandma’s hospital room with me while i was barely containing the tears.

I am thankful for the friends who noticed how much i was hurting that it was affecting everything, even my weight.

But it sucks that those people who i spent so many hours and days with I don’t much more than a facebook relationship with anymore. I thought true friendships were more than that.