by shelbyisrad

I am not doing so well keeping up with this blog, i think it has to do with many things but i know of three major causes of my lack in maintaing this thing:

1. Time

Okay so i go to 2 or 3 classes everyday. study (and end up on facebook or napping) in between classes, meet with people during the day, I have something to do sunday-thursday every single night of the week involving church. not even exaggerating, sundays i have my life group, monday is the sophomore bible study i attend through Cru. Tuesday Overflow, Wednesday i lead a freshmen bible study through Cru. thursday is Cru. weekly meeting. I spend most of my weekend with my dearest Jayme. or I go home to see my family. and theres always the time alloted to my boy. its crazy stuff, not to mention, i’ve had a test or paper (or both) every week for three weeks now. plus homework. and taking time to sleep, eat and maybe even breathe once in a while.

2. Life

My life is HARD right now, my grandma has cancer, we’re not sure what her prognosis is, or what they’re going to do. My mom is in town, which is another story all together. I am a natural worrier, so I’m worrying about my family, my classes, my friends, my future, my major, my hair, my body, my blog, my money -lack of it anyway- my boyfriend, his job situation, his family, his classes, being kidnapped if i go anywhere alone at night, being killed in my sleep, my sleeping habits, my nightmares. I promise i’m not crazy though. On top of everything I am struggling with stagnancy  (is that a word?) with my walk with God even when I’m doing 500 and one ‘Christian’ things a week.

3. Writing

I don’t know what to write, I don’t know who reads this, if anyone does, if anyone even CARES about what i have to say. I don’t know how to write, I wanna be funny like Jayme, Godly like the many spiritual blogs i read, i wanna be entertaining, i wanna post pictures, I wanna write something of substance that means something to someone… but I don’t think I am very good at it. So i become scared that no one will read it or even care. and then i start worrying about that. I worry about my lack of capitalization in the right places, and my run on sentences. and that i start a lot of sentences with ‘and’ which I don’t think you’re supposed to do.

So to that one person who seems to be checking my blog every few days, now you know why i stink at this, a whole lot.

p.s if you cannot tell… I need some major prayers right now.