This is killing me.

by shelbyisrad

Being home, it is so so hard.

My grandpa is not doing well AT ALL, he has fallen three times in the past week. (and has an awful bruise on his back)

He cannot walk without assistance, he cannot do anything without assistance.

He has no more appetite, he is so so forgetful and has trouble understanding things.

and it is wrecking my heart.

I could hardly eat at dinner my heart was aching and i was nauseous and just having such a physical response to his pain it shocked me.

Sometimes it is so hard to be such a loving and emotional person.

I mean when I went back to school he was still able to walk the dog to the mail box.

I was not expecting him to go down hill so quickly, I wasn’t and i’m not prepared for it at all.

I really just want to curl up in a ball and cry (and honestly I’ve been doing that a little)

But I know I have to keep strong, Grandma needs my emotional support as much as they both need my help in general.

But if my blog posts are short, and spacey just forgive me because my mind and heart are in a thousand different places right now and I’m struggling.