Strange

by shelbyisrad

I’ve noticed that my mood effects wether or not I like my wardrobe.

It sounds strange but ever since Grandpa died I have hated looking in my closet

Multiple times I have thought ‘When did I turn into miss daisy sunshine rainbow clothes?’

I am 98% of the time Miss Daisy Sunshine Rainbows and my clothes and I get along just fine.

But lately I’ve just wanted to go and buy some grey sweat pants and wear a hoodie and just sit in the back corner of my class rooms and be away from it all.

I even felt myself cast a glare at the gorgeous daisies who I was so excited to see were still alive when I first came back from home, now I wonder why they’ve got life but Grandpa doesn’t.

Its morbid, its so not like me.

But its who I am in this phase of my life I guess?

Idunno I’m just a mixed up confused person because I was giddy over the pretty painting my roommates made me, the earrings and kitty cats Jess gave me, and the pretty things I got in the mail.

But I glare at my colorful clothes and my favorite flowers?

idunno

I guess crazy is my new normal…

I’m learning to be okay with that.

well, trying to.

 

p.s. i now hate the phrase ‘so and so passed away’

Grandpa in my eyes did not pass away… he died, he did not just pass he is gone and there is a huge hole in my heart now.

p.p.s (or is it p.s.s.)

I am not trying to make anyone upset who uses or finds comfort in the phrase ‘passed away’ it just does not accurately describe how I feel about death.

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