For the first time in a long time I feel completely content. Sure there are things i wouldn’t mind changing in my life but I am perfectly okay with everything right now. I was content saying goodbye to my mom, I’m content spending every day with my grandma, content being single, content spending my days taking care of chickens and a dog. I’m content not making any resolutions for the new year but just going in with excitement and expectation that God will provide and bless. I am content taking it easy and just simply being. No need to rush through life. I am enjoying the quietness and stillness. I am content that i haven’t even finished a book over my break when I usually try to eat up as many as I can. I’m taking my time… taking it slow.
I’ve been making prayer my focus and taking steps to cut down on my anxiety and worrying. Because I am REALLY good at worrying. I’m content waiting on grandma hand and foot with a smile on my face because it makes me happy that it makes her happy. I’m even content that I haven’t taken a picture every single day this month with my camera b/c i left it at school (i have played with grandma’s DSLR though). And I’m even content that christmas was so low-key this year, it was really nice.
But I am looking forward to the new year and a new semester and being back with my roomies again. I’m going to fully embrace 2012 by seeking out illumination and do some illuminating myself. I plan to invest more in prayer, play and school. (yes prayer and play before school) I plan to try new things and be okay if i fail at them.
“And so, for me, being quiet and being slow is being myself, and that is my gift” -Fred Rogers
I want to learn to be embrace the quiet and slow part of myself. The little girl in me who used to sit for hours and read, the me who hid behind my mom’s legs only giving my shy smile and slowly blinked those big blue eyes every one used to comment on when i was 5. I don’t know when I became so hurried and stressed but this time of just being over my break as made me miss the quiet Shelby.
So I will go into 2012 peaceful and content (but don’t worry there will be plenty of wildness and loudness too)
I’m spending my new years eve with two of my favorite girls in the world and can’t wait to kiss those cheeks at midnight!!