Today was the first time I felt alive in church in over a month.
Last night as i fell asleep I told myself if something didn’t feel different I was going to take a break.
Today felt different, it felt real, i felt life.
I worshipped from the moment I woke up this morning through making coffee for my jayme, doing yoga in just my shorts, lighting candles, dancing to my favorite playlist, waiting until the last possible minute to get dressed, and opening my bible.
I smiled at my reflection and didn’t let a single judgmental thought about myself or anyone else even enter my mind.
I ate an entire basket of french fries for lunch and I’m planning to run tomorrow. But if I don’t run it’ll be okay.
Tuesday I’m going home for a few days to just be with my grandma and enjoy a break. I’m making no plans except when i’m going and coming back.
Friday I’m going to have a rebel day with Heather, and she’s bringing me gifts. and I’m hoping to find a suitable thank you gift between now and then.
Then I’m connecting with my second family and snuggling up with the coolest 5 and 10 year old I know.
I may even put a job application in at my favorite coffee shop this week.
But the point of all this is to say I felt more alive today than I have in a long time, and its because I chose me, to love and care for myself and spend some time talking to God in my way.
So choose you.