On love and dreams

by shelbyisrad

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(Picture by my favorite Princess TigerLilly)

I follow a few bloggers (Meg, Kristie, and Bee)  who always write the most wonderful things about love, their dreams for the someday, hopes for future husbands and things like that and I always admire them so much for it. I always read those posts breathless and dreamy and smiley, because I love love.

I love dreaming of love, and hoping for that magic and I know how hard it will be. I know my own issues with intimacy and relationships. I know relationships are complicated and I will have to work to make a true love work. (I’ve taken enough communication classes to know this by now).

But I still daydream about it. I scribble and write and dream about love in my private journals and often feel so shy about how gooey mushy-lovey I really am. I get embarrassed sometimes to shout “I LOVE LOVE!” but so much of me shouts that. Even though I’m single over a year now, and have had some almost-relationships that fell through without knowing why, I still am so hopeful for the future and get excited about my someday husband and someday family.

And I want to write about those hopes and dreams and wishes in this space, maybe not as beautifully as those other bloggers, because sometimes I have trouble finding the right words when I think about love. But I want this blog, even when I neglect it for weeks to be a reflection of me completely.

And right now I’m balancing on this hope, walking the tight rope of high hopes and crossing my fingers that I don’t come crashing down. But knowing if I do, it’ll be worth it, because its always worth it to take a leap of faith and do things that scare you and to let the walls down around your heart, even for someone you didn’t think you’d let it in again. Because a good love story is complicated and messy and full of surprises, or thats what I’m going to believe anyway. So I’m wishing and dreaming and hoping for the best, and getting my hopes up that my someday, will be someday soon.