A defining moment

by shelbyisrad


“If I have seen farther it is by standing on the shoulders of giants” -Sir Isaac Newton

One night of camp this week I walked next to Mike Bell, a new friend and incredible follower of Christ, and he asked me the question I’d been asked endless times the past four years.

“So what do you want to do after college?”

“I don’t know” I responded immediately, like I have the endless times I’d been asked. But then I paused and added, “Actually that’s not true. I want to write, I want to be an author, I want to tell stories.” I was surprised by my response. Seldom have I voiced that truth — especially to people I barely knew. It was a truth I tended to save for close friends and even then I still whispered it.

Because “I don’t know” is easier to commit to. Because people will respond “Oh thats okay, no one knows. You have time to figure it out.”When you’re young its easier to be non-committal than it is to name your dreams. Especially when those dreams aren’t a guaranteed nine-to-five job, that will put food on the table.

Before this conversation I’s only spoken my dreams to close friends who know my passion before I even confess it. Those who I knew would support me without question.

And here I was spilling my heart to someone I barely knew, but it re-lit a spark inside. I continued to speak about my desire to write a few times in the week in front of groups of people who didn’t know me well. {But I knew they loved Jesus and I think thats why I felt safe.} Every time I spoke this week it felt different, I could physically feel my passion stirring inside. My voice was louder, my body felt free and my spirit soared.

When one of the speakers talked about doing everything you do for the glory of God and said in a string of words “Be a writer,” my heart slammed in my chest, and Mike turned around to nod at me and I felt myself grin.

I told our students to chase their dreams and live their passions. I spoke about it in our leadership group and the support that was immediately given nearly moved me to tears. One of them asked if I’d be interested in editing his blog post (YES!) another asked if I’d started a blog yet because I needed to. {Had that covered) He also told me about NavPress commissioning authors which I’m looking into this morning.

Most of all I heard, more than once,that I lit up when I talked about writing — that my passion was obvious. I was told over and over to do it, to write and chase my dreams. I could feel the physical change in my body as I talked about writing each time, even though I was so exhausted from the week I suddenly felt energized when I talked about it. I felt lighter and free. That conversation with Mike became a defining moment for my week, for my year — and I have a sneaking suspicion a defining moment for my life.